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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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(click for higher quality!) draconified link concept ive been chipping away at this past week ..... here's my funny little compendium concept for him:
"A heroic spirit has taken the form of this bestial dragon. Unlike it's kin, this creature exhibits an extremely aggressive disposition. It appears highly territorial, and will relentlessly chase down those who disturb its skywide patrols - of which it seems to be endlessly searching for either a long-time vassal or foe. Unfortunately, it seems the spirit within has long since forgotten exactly who it was looking for…"
#now. how on earth do i begin to tag this. um.#link#loz#totk#totk spoilers#light dragon#dragon link#loz au#totk roleswap au#there . i'll add more if they come to me LOL#um i can talk about some of my insps i guess?? might make another post too#so mostly i just dont really like turning him into 'light dragon but male' and giving him slightly darker colours or something like that#this also obviously isnt exactly like the botw dragons either though and its a bit more of a mix of other creature concepts i enjoy#since everyone agrees he'd have a farosh horn i wanted to make him a kirin/unicorn :) which is why his tail looks like that#aside from the obvious eastern dragon insps and what ive picked and chosen from the botw dragons#and obviously this looks a lot like wolf link. thats on purpose#i wanted to give him some fierce deity design refs too but because this is so dark/earthy they didnt look very fitting#but honestly you could do a whole fierce deity dragon design on its own i think#okay lots of tags but IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE. okay. let me have this.#my art#dragon link au
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the fritter (frin critter)
#inspo struck right after posting the last two. some kind of a hermit crab. a snail#they think they look all cool and mysterious under their safety shelter but if u remove it they're a disastrous puffball of uncombed fur#the hat is not accurate to an adult human btw. i tried to put them in a full size hat and they were lost forever. this is a child sized hat#they need to swap out for bigger hats as they grow#MY FRIENDS WROTE AND DREW SO MUCH FOR THE FRITTER I HOPE THEY CAN REBLOG AND ADD BC THEYRE SO GOOD <3#we started making a whole au about critter species in the wild and how they interact and survive. very fascinating.#i need to collect all the worldbuilding into one place eventually. rn all i'll say is.. overworked odile petsmart employee (tealgoat's idea#isat critters#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#my art#a6se/twohats (this tag only) implication then is that loop is bald i guess aksdks. loop = wild shorthair. fritter = domestic longhair.
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bts + reductress headlines pt.14
#if seokjin can make a comeback after an outrageous number of months then so can i. it's a FESTA GROUP EDITION BABY!!#no but can you believe the last edition of this was seven months ago?!#i can because i've been wracked with guilt about it for- well - seven months or so now. but i digress.#hope you enjoy!! - tags for everyone!!#userdimple#raplineuser#annietrack#boongitrack#usersky#heyryen#usermaggie#userkelli#reductress#reductress headlines#textsfrombangtan#bts#now i must admit i've had a couple of these ones sent to me over the years (years?!) so i can't take full credit for this edition#i can't be sure but i'm thinking probably kayla and apryl so thanks very muchly darlings#apologies for the archival bangtan in the middle there but it was the most wtf is wrong with all my friends pic i could find#(i'm lying they're literally all like that)#see you in six months or so i guess? jfc
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🪤
#karl heisenberg#ethan winters#can i even tag him#hes not even actually in this#well i guess a piece of him is#mother miranda#resident evil#resident evil fanart#rebhfun#resident evil village#resident evil 8#re8#wintersberg#i was actually trying to draw cute geniune domestic wintersberg#and it was so hard for me i went into art block#and i spent the entire day trying to think of a good idea for it and couldnt#then while i was falling asleep i thought of this comic in like 2 seconds#domestic wintersberg is so hard for me to draw 😭#addicted to making dumb stupid comics where karl needs ethan so bad it makes him looks stupid#fun fact the soldat was originally going to be sturm and then i realized sturm doesnt have hands to stop karl from walking over
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One wedding and three funerals
Background paintings under the cut
#tomgreg#succession#tom wambsgans#greg hirsch#shiv roy#roman roy#kendall roy#yeah no im not tagging everyone thats too much#this is me going 'how much implications themes and symbolism can i fit in one painting'#yes i gave rose shivs haircolor. if we ever find out how she looks like and its not like this im just gonna pass away i guess#but yeah i hope yall connect the dots#i put waaay too much thought and work into this. i was googling pictures of all the actors as kids just for reference (sigh)#honestly kinda wanted to make tom and greg link pinkies as like. a pinkie promise. but that was too hard to draw in this angle#at least not without obstructing the view of the ring which is important to see so ya#my fave is actually the tomshiv wedding pic i went off with that. i love them... they should have run away to become sheep farmers fr fr#anyway im so glad im done with this UGH!! finally i can draw smth else without being like oh noooo i need to finish this#i see a lot of you wondering why there is no portrait of logan but one of ewan#it's bc the placement of the painting represent their standing. logans portray would not hang next to the stairs#his present portrait hangs at the end of it. all the way up at the top. alone and withering away#basically the picture you see underneath ewan to the right? its where toms parents would be. the right side of the wall is tom and gregs#and the left one is the roy siblings theirs. since they grew up rich rich. and tom and greg didn't#but ya thats why ewan hangs here and logan does not :)
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#please i have to know if i'm just a bitch or not#you can probably guess what my opinion is on the matter lmao#just orphan the fic if you don't like it anymore/don't want to be associated with it!!!!#that's what the orphaning option is for!!!! why are you taking away MY beloved reading material!!!!!! it makes me so mad#i've started downloading and keeping a collection of my favorite fics because i can't trust them not to disappear on me#if you've written a fic i love and deleted it you'd better count your days#ao3#archive of our own#orphaned works#deleted fics#fanfic#fanfiction#fics#batfamily#batfam#batman#fandom#i'm just gonna tag all the fandoms i've read fic for lmao#voltron#voltron legendary defender#the raven cycle#trc#aftg#all for the game#the foxhole court#yuri on ice#marvel#mcu#the avengers#young justice
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Kim Skills!
No faces for him.
(drew this to accompany what started as a little spin-off of another fic...it's on ao3)
#can you tell that I really like drawing hands cause I do#I guess this goes in the main tag? sorry#disco elysium#for those who have read A Spilled Kaleidoscope: the first chapter of this is basically the Bonus chapter but reworked a little and extended#Kim Kitsuragi#btw I need to add how clever I feel for making PROCESSOR the only one that shows the palms of the hands :3#my art
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silly comic based on a time i struggled to read live on stream :thumbsup:
context clip compilation below ASDASDFASA
(cw for brief mention of hospitals/strokes)
#in stars and time#isat#isat odile#isat siffrin#isat spoilers#<- not big ones but the convo this stems from occurs on 3rd floor before king act 2 so#cw hospital#cw stroke#<- brief stroke talk in the clip thats why#odile i am so sorry for making u deal with the fact that i cant read#or just input words?? where there arent any??? i dont know why i do that????#these streams have made me realize i sometimes just autofill words when reading SAFADDA#also random side headcanon i was thinking of while drawing this#is odile speaks alot with her hands?#idk why i just think its fun?#and kinda makes sense as someone who has travelled a lot thru different countries?#personal observation but you can convey/tell a lot without knowing a much of a different language via body language#as someone who grew up with family who spoke a different language that i do not speak LMAO#especially hands!! those say a lot!!#reading body langauge/tone helped me a lot when guessing if what was being talked about a good thing or not#tho tone to a lesser extent since uh it can be hard to tell at times i think ASDFDA#so it makes sense to me???#the art of pointing in general location is a universal skill i think?? yea#to a lesser extent i think siffrin might do this? but more subdued/under the cloak so#the cloak ends up getting in the way 90% of the time so no one can actually see that lmao#okay tag talk over#no stream time today because weather boooooo storms
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Cringetober Day 1. Screenshot Redraw
inspired by this early eah scene where raven "lets her bad side out" playing guitar and my cousin and I go "apple's probably losing it" and then they cut to her and she's making this face ↓
#starting off cringetober strong with day 1 on day 4 lol#I'm gonna steamroll through 2 and 3 today (and I have 4 unposted from last year so that's convenient)#prompt months are a good excuse to a draw bunch of media But last week my cousin and I rewatched some eah (my first time since high school)#so it's in my brain right now anyway :)#ever after high#eah#raven queen#apple white#rapple#tagging rapple because I made this with rapple intent but technically this is literally just what happened LOL#I Still feel like I didn't push her expression quite a far as they did but you can look at the screenshot. she's sooo funny she's so#unsubtle#this also started out as a meme redraw can you guess the meme#huge shoutout to the heart card in the bg looking like a deliberate choice on my part to make this look romantic#september 2024#(yes I did start this a little early)#cringetober 2024
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Swimsuit season is well over now. Maybe it's for the best.
#ambroys#special guest star hyden#my draws#as always i just like drawing them hanging out together and being shameless silly gaudy bastards#ambroys can be a judgy little bitch all he likes - hyden's ego defenses are impenetrable#sfkkf standing next to hyden always makes ambroys look like such a manlet. i swear he's well over 6 feet tall#even if i draw ambroys as a totally normal (...relatively normal) non-magic human i still want to put his sun-shaped tummy birthmark on him#it stretches credulity but i think it's cute (said like a man in a confession both)#ummm tags i guess#swimsuit#beach#cartoon art#artists on tumblr#oc#human oc
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doing chibi is a good design exercise bc it forces u to think on shapes n essential details, essentially thumbnailing ur designs. its also a terrible design exercise bc it ends up looking cute no matter what
#dimension 20#fantasy high#riz gukgak#very specifically class swap bard!riz#fh class quangle#mm. I may need tags for all the asides Ive been doing lmao#riz's canon design is so coherent and thematically clean that I genuinely struggle to keep up...#bard!riz's whole thing is working out his identity through abject fear so it kiiiinda makes sense that hes got a different thing going#on every year I guess? like lmao the directive I go into each of these designs with changes vastly#freshman bard!riz has to look extremely nonthreatening. and also make you wanna pick him up and chuck him at a wall#annoyingly inoffensive. slides off your memory pretty much immediately. a void of an experience#crucially Does Not Show Teeth While Smiling#sophomore year bard!riz I have been keeping the like. cameraman direction for#I want him to be swimming in clothes a little bit... he kinda lands at like. 80s/90s shlocky horror protag too which I do like#bc what is season 2 to riz if not a horror story lmao#junior year bard!riz I want to be somewhere between clark kent and tintin#the journalist aesthetics is not so clear and easy to build as the detective or spy aesthetics...#but also I just. really like boy journalist lmao this is the BD blood speaking again#and! I actually do draw his hair differently than in my canon junior year riz stuff. its a bit shorter here so it doesn't#obscure as much of his face#its so funny actually going from drawing canon stuff to class swap esp. with riz bc he's smiling SO much here#and it's 100% trained like its crucial for u guys to know he is equally if not more fucked up as a bard#barely anybody can wrangle him in canon it's already been mostly him keeping himself on track. imagine if he actually learned how to act#mmm. I think these designs are still gonna soft change as I draw them. thats fine we have fun#drawing sophomore year bard!riz for those comiclets was fun as hell. I think on this factor alone I call it a success lol
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face journeys
#phan#dan and phil#dnp#i guess it's not gonna show up in the tags but hopefully it'll still count for the fandometrics?#i spent WAYYY too long on this and it was not worth it bc i still hate it. but i have to post it so i can let it go#next one will be better i guess im learning#i think i got the sizing right but i might have fucked that up bc im losing patience with this dhsjhgk#and the top right one of dan is kinda random but i needed an extra one to make a 3x3 grid so dont mind her#maybe i just hate this because ive spent an entire day looking at it and messing with it dlsglkjslkj
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if ordan karris wanna complete that sentence does that mean he also likes us?
#i mean. the ordan part can control what sentence he wanna hijack right?#hmm#after seeing so much dialogue from his quote page i really wanna see the ordan part inside ordis actually has major impact in canon#and not just to roast parvos. i absolutely love that part but i hope i can see more than that#also makes me wonder how much details in his quote implies what would happen later in the game#like. idk how long ordis has been calling us the operator but i guess it's definitely before the second dream#and i also guess people would understand it as the operator of orbiter or something and not about#...that#yeah that kind of detail#does that count as a spoiler?#what am i talking about this whole post IS a spoiler#but i don't actually wanna tag my each and every post as spoiler tho#cephalon fragment has existed for years so i guess im just gonna... keep. not tagging that. yeah#warframe#warframe ordis#warframe ordan karris#my art
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oh no! more ginhiji
#hhhhhhhhhhhh theyyy areeee eatinggggg myyyy BRAIIIIIN#using them as a coping mechanism to avoid the horrors of silver soul#i reached the second half and i. i need a breather#i’m trying to figure out what my favourite dynamic of ginhiji is so i can make comics about it later but rn my brain is just like#haha they want to punt each other into the sun yet they are inexplicably drawn to each other so they may as well burn together#gin san being like oh well i guess this is happening now?? and toshi trying to gaslight himself out of this waking nightmare#it’s very funny to consider#they are very much a romantic comedy but more emphasis on the comedy aspect with tragedy bits coming out of nowhere to kill you dead#so like gintama yk#also hijikata’s hair is a nightmare to draw im trying so hard#girl help#sakata gintoki#hijikata toushirou#ginhiji#hijigin#gintoki x hijikata#hijikata x gintoki#there are so many tags for one pairing hhhh#gintama#ok bye
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Replaced.
#my art#kingdom hearts 3#kingdom hearts 3 remind#kingdom hearts 4#Sora#Yozora#Riku#The Sleeping Realm Theory#The Necklace Theory#Meteor Shower Promise#you can tell how much I love those moments between Sora and Riku#Soriku#sora x riku#a bit of angst? i suppose#hey remember riku's fear of being replaced :D WELL GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKERS#THAT'S RIGHT BABY MORE YOZORA BECAUSE I WANNA SEE HIM MORE#also my theory is that Yozora is a special nobody like Xion (hopefully that makes sense)#but hey it's all for fun (ouch)#KH#KH3#KH4#also this ain't anti soriku i just love angst in my silly heart#BACK TO COMMS BYEEEE#edit 5/22/24: I SPELLED KINGDOM HEARTS WRONG ON THE TAG LMAO I JUST REALIZED WHEN LOOKING THROUGH TAGS#kingdom hearts
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